The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Chapter One

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde


So there’s this GIANT ass introduction section to give you background info on the book, but we’ll skip that because I am too lazy  because I don’t think it is relevant to our story. So we’ll just start with Chapter One with Mr. Utterson.

Mr. Utterson the lawyer was a man of rugged countenance that was never lighted by a smile; cold, scanty and embarrassed in discourse; Backward in sentiment; lean, long, dusty, dreary, and yet somehow loveable.

So he’s either the average lawyer or Severus Snape.

There’s currently no pictures of Lawyer!Snape, so please enjoy this picture of Snape on a Segway

He, quite sadly, is not Severus Snape. He’s actually a lot more cheerful than Snape with a “approved tolerance for others; sometimes wondering, almost with envy, at the high pressure of spirits involved in their misdeeds; and in any extremity inclined to help rather than to reprove. “I incline to Cain’s heresy,” he used to say quaintly: “I let my brother go to the Devil in his own way.” In his character, it was frequently his fortune to be the last reputable acquaintance and the last good influence on the lives on downgoing men”

Dumbledore then?


But enough about Mr. Utterson. He and his friend, Mr. Richard Enfield, are on a Sunday walk one day when they come across an abandoned-looking, two story house with no windows looming on the street. Being that he never remembered signing up to star in a horror movie, Mr. Utterson asks his friend what he thought of it to which he replies

It is connected in my mind,” added he, “with a very odd story.”

Indeed?” said Mr. Utterson with a slight change of voice, and what was that?

Well it was this way,” returned Mr. Enfield: “I was coming home from some place at the end of the world….my lay way through town where there was literally nothing to be seen but lamps. Street after street, and all the folks asleep – all lighted up as if for a procession and all as empty as a church- till at last I got into the state of mind where a man listens and listens and began to long for the sight of a policeman. All at once, I saw two figures:one a little man who was stomping along eastward at a good walk, and the other a girl of maybe eight or ten who was running as hard as she was able down a cross street. Well, sir the two ran into each other naturally enough at the corner; for the man trampled calmly over the child’s body and left her screaming on the ground.

Well, readers, any guesses?

Is it Snape?

This looks child-abusey enough

Someone else who also hates children(but not Snape)?.

You know, probably

Someone else?

Like this mom who gave her child this book?

Like her mom for giving her this book?

I’m kidding of course. It’s probably Hyde. Hello Hyde!

"Dude, I told you. First we steal candy, then kick puppies, then trample children! God, don't you know anything?!

“Dude, I told you. First we steal candy, then kick puppies, then trample children! God, don’t you know anything?!”

Enfield was, naturally, pissed at this, as was the child’s family.

“Wha-but I thought children enjoyed being stepped on?! And why is my right hand so comically larger than the left?!”

Mr. Hyde is unsympathetic but, as the crowd threatens to ruin his reputation, he eventually bends.

If you choose to make a capital out of this accident,” said he, “I am naturally helpless. No gentleman but wishes to avoid a scene,” says he “Name your figure.

Enfield doesn’t say what name is on the check, only that it’s “A name very well-known and often printed” (*hint  hint*)

Despite Enfield’s suspicions, the check turns out to be genuine. Mr.Hyde even goes to check in with them himself (although not without sneering and being a general asshole about it)

This. This is what I imagine Hyde to look like all the time

Tut-Tut,”said Mr. Utterson

I see you feel as I do,’ said Mr. Enfield. “Yes, it’s a bad story. For my man was a fellow that nobody could have to do with, a really damnable man; and the person that drew the cheque is the very pink of the properties , and (what makes it worse) one of the fellows who do what they call good. Black mail I suppose; an honest man paying through the nose for some of the capers of his youth. Black Mail House is what I call the place with door , in consequence. Though even that, you know, is far from explaining much at all,” he added, and with the words fell into a vein of musing.”

Mr. Utterson is not done though.

And you don’t know if the drawer of the check lives there?’

A likely place, isn’t it? Returned Mr. Enfield. “But I happened to have noticed his address; he lives in some square or another.”

And you never asked about the-place with the door?” said Mr.Utterson

No sir: I had a delicacy,” was the reply “I feel strongly about putting questions;It partakes too much the style of the day of judgement…..No sir, I make it a rule of mine: the more It looks like Queer Street, the less I ask,”

Don’t ask, don’t tell

Unfortunately, Queer Street is just supposed to mean *Imaginary street where people with difficulties are supposed to resideSeverely bumming me out.

But back to Utterson

Enfield,” said Mr. Utterson, “That’s a good rule of yours,”

Yes, I think it is,” returned Enfield

But for all that,” continued the lawyer “there’s one point I want to ask: I want to know the name of that man who walked over the child.

ell,” said Mr. Enfield, “I can’t see what harm it will do. It was a man of the name of Hyde.

Called it!

Mr. Enfield then goes on to describe Hyde. H’s apparently an “extraordinary looking man” but he can’t “name nothing out of the way.” He also has a “strong feeling of deformity” So I’m just going to pretend he just looks really creepy like this 

or this

or this

Which is perhaps the most frightening one of all

Okay, Okay, I’ll lay off the Twilight Jokes.

But Utterson might know him, as he continues to question Enfield about the man

You are sure that used a key?” he inquired at last.

My dear sir…” began Enfield, surprised out of himself.

Yes I know,” said Utterson; “I know it must seem strange . The fact is, if I don’t ask you the name of the other party, it is because I know it already. You see, Richard, your tale has called home. If you had been inexact at any point, you had better correct it.”

Mr. Enfield says that no, he had a key, and even him use it not a week ago. They then agree to drop the topic and never bring it up again.

with all my heart,” says the lawyer. “ I shake hands on that, Richard.”

.and that’s the end of chapter one. Only ten pages in and we already have screaming children. What will Hyde do next? Drop a bag of kittens in boiling water, steal from blind orphans?

“Finally kick that puppy like the good Commander commands?”

We’ll see! Tune in next while I try to sound like a Tv announcer because I don’t know how to close this review. Bye! Sleep tight!

And don’t let the Commander get you